Ten Things To Piss Your Supervisor Off
June 3rd, 2006
Ever had one of those days when everything you touch - everything that comes out of your mouth seems to piss your boss off no end? Well, I had one of those days yesterday. My morning was going great, until I answered the phone. My day took a nosedive thereon.
So I thought I’d write a list of every misbegotten deed for posterity. Who knows, there might well be someone out there who is likewise showing signs and symptoms of the Piss-Your-Boss-Off-Today-With-No-Thought-To-Life-Or-Limb. Better yet, we can compare notes.
- Answer the phone, and state your name - that always seems to piss HIM off no end.
- Bypass the standard: “Hi. How are you today?” because HE never asks after your health, anyway, and go straight for the “How Can We Help You?” Sharing the Shit around helps enormously.
- When “Issue” enters the conversation, you reply with “I’m listening” even though you’ve already tuned out. A girl can’t possibly mend her cuticles and listen to Issue after Issue!
- Use the word “Fine” repeatedly, because you know its the one word that fires HIS anger endorphins far quicker than had you mentally tossed HIM from a 30 storey building.
- Sound vague, more so when you realise “the Issue” is turning out to be a doozy
- State calmly that the deed is done, and you cannot turn back time. Standing your ground is apparently 1000 times worse than merely thinking HIM off a 30 storey building
- Maintain professionalism, no matter how much HE rants. Don’t forget HE’s yelling because HE’s discovered, from your calm, professional tone that HE’s Fucked Up. Majorly.
- Be exceptionally cheerful when HE orders you to clean up HIS mess.
- Fire off an email to your line supervisor outlining all the loopholes HIS order brought to the surface and how fixing them is beyond your capabilities. Think Paper Trail and that will save your arse.
- Learn from your mistakes - Super Glue the phone to the cradle!
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| Filed Under: Ten Things | Author: Kate Northey
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